It’s like a hazy memory, the time when my days were filled with writing. Pure joy to frustration, writing was my life. My dream. But dreams be as they may, reality creeps back in. Dragging you back to the places you want to push away for just a little bit longer. Just five more minutes, mom. I wasn’t famous yet. Dang it. Necessary expenses kept increasing. Thanks inflation. Hey, your bill is $30 more than it was last month! Why? Because we can. Duh. I had to leave the dreamland, and get myself a “real job” and say what I thought was my final goodbye to writing.
But I never said my goodbye to you, my readers. Selfishly because I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Although I knew the chances slim I would ever again write, I had to hold onto that hope. That hope that it wasn’t goodbye for good. It was goodbye for now. I couldn’t bring myself to say it. So I just sort, faded away. Hoping someone might stick around for a while, hoping I might pop back up. All the while I was hoping I might someday pop back up.
I’ve craved writing, every day. Every day there’s been a tiny, whispering voice, reminding me how nice it would be to be writing today. Although as time passed, I thought maybe it wasn’t the path I was meant to be on. But the feeling never died, the urge to write, the need for it. I hoped, I tried to forget, I prayed for guidance on showing me the path if I was meant to jump on it. Recently, it’s been on my mind a lot. I see fragments of time that I could write. Quick little glimpses of “you know, I could totally get some writing done while my husbands at bible study.” They’ve popped up more often, the prayers increased, and like taking off a blindfold – it’s time to get back to it.
My fingers are a little rusty, but they haven’t forgotten the dance. The keys are an old familiar friend; a friend I hope to spend more time with. I’m not sure what direction writing will take me this time around, writing for the pure joy of it instead of it being my main career. Perhaps it will take me farther than it did before? Perhaps I’ll find an opportunity I wouldn’t have before? Perhaps it will be a whole new journey entirely? Perhaps…
For now, I will enjoy this ride again, and hope to find my old friends still there, and new friends along the way.