Life's a journey, always. There is never a moment when you know you have it all figured out, when you know exactly what to expect. Should your mind ever trick you into thinking that you do, a challenge is always thrown at your feet. Plans get screwed up, or lost entirely, expectations feel impossible to meet, routines hard to find, simple tasks almost impossible to complete. That's one of the beauties of life, she can be a real bitch at times. But when you step back and survey the distance you've gone, you realize it's been one hell of a ride, and you always find some blessings along the way.
My head is spinning from the last six months, trying to figure out what the hell happened and where the hell did it go. It has been a challenge, not just for me, but my family. I'm in the whoa zone, when life starts to stop spinning and I feel the world settling beneath my feet. The challenges are coming to their end. When life spins, seemingly out of your control, it's a smorgasbord of emotions. Thankful? Bitter? Exhausting? Hopeful? Yes, yes, yes, and yes. I hope to cling to the lessons of each one, and carry them with me as I pick up the pieces of my scattered self, and forge ahead.
When one challenge, one journey, ends, another one always presents itself at your feet. The journey that lay ahead of me, and my family - moving forward. Moving forward, sometimes, feels scarier then what lay behind you. You have to push yourself in new ways, dig into things you might rather leave buried, you have to muster up the best pieces of you and hold them close - so you move forward with only the best of you that you can offer the world.
Moving forward... after my whoa. Funny, that part of that brings me here, a blog post about nothing and something. But really, it is as much a part of what I want to move forward with as it is my goals to be a better woman. Because part of being a better woman, although it makes me feel selfish for including it, is being better to myself. Being better to my goals. All of my goals. The ones that mean being better for other people, and better for myself. And part of that means being better to my career, more dedicated to my writing - which brings me here. The second time my fingers have danced on the keyboard in months.
A post about nothing, and something, as I stand in my moment of whoa. A post that is more of a promise to myself, than anything someone else might actually want to read. A promise that not just my goals for what I want to be to other people are important; the goals of what I want to be for myself are too. It's time to shake off the dizziness, pick up the pieces of me, and move forward. No matter how scary or exhilarating, if we don't move forward life will run us over. I'm no roadkill. It's time, to let whoa go, thankful for its blessings, and carry them with me as I continue my journey, as a woman, a wife, a mom - and a writer....